Free Will
Annyeonghaseyo from Seoul!
I’m writing this from a cafe called Twosome Place. Something I noticed is the interesting brand names of cafes here…
Anyway, sorry for the late essay. When I touched down in Seoul, I was in full go-mode and speed running attractions I wanted to see.
My goal is to see everything on my list as soon as possible because there’s a good chance that I won’t want to see a lot of those places again during my time here.
Then I can spend the last leg of my trip just mindlessly exploring and I feel like that’s when some of my best moments happen.
Just like my time in Japan, I’ve been able to find fellow solo travelers to connect with and hang out with. Super cool people so far.
But I spent some time talking to one traveler and he revealed some things to me that made me uneasy. So I want to take time today to unpack what he said.
Why he revealed this stuff to me, I don’t know. It sounds like he’s been meaning to vent these things for a long time and I have no problem being the listener.
We’ll call this person Dave (not his real name). Dave is a young buck. He’s only 20 years old and he’s out here solo traveling.
I commended him for that because there’s no way I could’ve done that when I was 20. I would’ve been way too scared.
But his reason for traveling is what I want to elaborate on. And I’ve talked about this in previous essays.
Dave is using travel as an escape. Instead of wanting to travel per se.
He told me he’s been dealing with depression since he was 14 and made an attempt on his life when he was only 16.
And his reason for traveling is because he really doesn’t give a shit about what happens to him so he’s just doing stuff.
It just breaks my heart to hear someone this young with that mindset.
I generally don’t like telling people how to live their lives and I kept that in mind during my conversation with him, but it was tough not to talk about some of my philosophies.
Instead, I just suggested that he think of different frames and perspectives.
He could look at his traveling right now as something he wants to do because he wants to live his life instead of just an escape to do whatever he wants because he doesn’t care what happens to him.
I told him it’s a choice. He has free will.
And that’s where Dave also challenged me. He said that we don’t. It depends on our upbringing and the people we look up to.
I could tell he was very resistant to what I was saying so I didn’t want to argue so I just asked questions to let him talk.
But here’s the truth.
Your upbringing and the people you look up to have nothing to do with your free will. Those are things outside of yourself.
Your free will comes from within. It is your power and you always have the power of choice.
In every situation you have the power to choose your reaction and perspective.
Someone cut you off in traffic?
You can be like, that guy is an asshole and fuck him. OR…
It’s not a big deal and that person is probably having a bad day or genuinely just made a mistake.
That’s free will.
It just makes me sad to see anyone think like that. It becomes a habit that is hard to unchain later on.
But again, how Dave decides to live his life and thinks is totally up to him. It doesn’t and will never affect how I live my life.
This brings up another point he brought up…
He said that when we die, all we have left is what people think of us.
Again, I can see that’s coming from a place of insecurity. And if he wants to take a nihilistic viewpoint of life, that’s cool.
But really, no one is going to think of you. Not as much as he believes to be the case. Everyone is already consumed with themselves and that’s already a ton of work.
The power of choice is yours. Use it responsibly and I encourage you to use it in a positive light.
But that’s just my preference.